I’m working my way through Richard Herring’s Emergency Questions book, 15 questions at a time. This week, it’s questions 196-210. You can read more about this project here. Please be aware that some of the questions are somewhat vulgar.
196. What does mansplaining mean?
When a man explains something to a woman in a condescending manner – especially if it’s a topic that the woman is familiar with. It’s something that I unintentionally do from time to time.
197. What is the strangest thing that you’ve ever found in a fridge?
Cosmetics, probably. My wife used to keep some Lush products in the fridge.
198. When you are asked to imagine a time or place when you are calm and happy, what time and/ or place do you imagine?
Being on holiday with my wife, relaxing.
199. What is your third earliest memory? That is, not your earliest memory or the next earliest one, but the one after that?
Probably reception class at primary school, making things with pasta shells and PVA glue.
200. If you could have a dream dinner party with any person living or dead, who would you employ to do the washing up? N.B. They would not be allowed to join the dinner party, but would get tantalising snippets of the conversation that always cut off before the interesting bit/punchline.
Mickey Flanagan. He’s not my favourite comedian.
201. If you dropped your mobile phone down the portaloo on day 3 of the Glastonbury festival, would you retrieve it?
Probably not, but only because I’m planning to get a new phone in the autumn anyway and I have a spare. If it was brand new, then I may have to retrieve it and hope that the smell will eventually subside. I’d also like to think that it’d be in a case which could be replaced.
202. If you had the ability to be able to be a virtuoso on any instrument without practising, what instrument would you choose?
Guitar, so that I could start a band during my mid-life crisis.
203. Do you have a pet peeve? By which I mean is there something that annoys you about your pet?
We don’t have any pets – I tend to be allergic to most animals. But I used to have hamsters when I was younger and wasn’t keen when they bit me.
204. What was the worst occasion in which you were totally naked?
I can’t think of an actual occasion, but I’ve had a few dreams where I’ve been inappropriately naked for some reason.
205. Shag, marry or kill? Oxygen, ennui, mitochondria?
Shag mitochondria (they’re important), marry oxygen, kill ennui.
206. Would the world be worse or better if every man who said they have a “mancave” was evaporated by a laser?
No, because that would result in several of my good friends being evaporated.
207. Who are your three favourite ghosts, real or (let’s face it) fictional?
The ghosts in Rentaghost, Casper, and the ghosts at Hogwarts in Harry Potter.
209. What is your favourite colour?
208. What word are you unable to pronounce out loud?
Awry. I read it as ‘awww-ree’ and not ‘a-rye’ for some reason.
210. What is the best sound effect you have ever heard?
I love the buzzer sound from the TV series Catchphrase. I have it set as my text message tone on my phone.