I’m working my way through Richard Herring’s Emergency Questions book, 15 questions at a time. This week, it’s questions 166-180. You can read more about this project here. Please be aware that some of the questions are somewhat vulgar.
166. What is more important: your job or your family? And why?
Family, definitely. Work pays the bills but family gives you reason to live.
167. Is the glass half full or half empty? And what does it say about you if you are too afraid to ask someone out straight if they are an optimist or a pessimist and instead have to use a confusing glass metaphor? You haven’t even said what’s in the glass. What if it’s a glass of poison? You’ve learned nothing about us but we have learned a lot about you.
Well, I’m generally a glass half-full person. I usually believe people do things in good faith and because they want to help. Evil and/or selfish people are usually in the minority.
168. Do you think that the Adam Sandler film “The Cobbler” could ever happen in real life?
I haven’t seen it, but have a reasonable understanding of the plot from listening to RHLSTP (RHLSTP!) every week. And no, I don’t think it could.
169. If you were Adam Sandler how would you even begin to spend the millions of dollars you made for appearing in “The Cobbler”?
Easily; buy a nice big house, hire a chauffeur to drive me everywhere, go on expensive holidays…
170. Do you make a mental file of answers that would work well if you were ever on Pointless?
I don’t, but my head is full of useless trivia which may come in useful should I ever wish to appear on the show.
171. When you’re watching films how much time do you end up Googling the actors to find out if they are still alive?
You’ll be pleased to know that I turn my phone off in the cinema, but on the occasions that I watch films at home, I’ve usually got IMDB open at some point.
172. Have you ever been in a canoe?
Yes, I have – I have my British Canoe Union One Star awards for kayaks and tandem canoes. Or at least, I did; I think the certificates are long lost. We did quite a bit of canoeing when I was in Scouts, and I went on a canoeing holiday in Wales in 1997.
173. What do you think the chances are of me accidentally repeating a question in this book?
174. Have you ever had a dream that accurately predicted the future?
I don’t think so. I’m rubbish at remembering dreams, unless I’ve had a really bizarre one that I’ve shared on social media. Even then, reading what I wrote about the dream doesn’t jog my memory.
175. Do you secretly wonder if you are the new Jesus? Maybe you are.
No. I think I’d be a rubbish Jesus. Being an atheist isn’t a good start, for one.
176. Would an eternity in Heaven actually be Hell for you?
Whilst I don’t believe in heaven, I assume that it would actually be a good experience for all eternity.
177. What is the most embarrassing thing that you have done for sexual gratification?
I’m not prepared to answer this in public.
178. You know when you wake up in the middle of the night with a feeling of inexplicable existential dread, you’re not sure why you’re so panicked, but it feels like life is meaningless and terrible and pointless… what if that’s the only time you have any kind of mental clarity?
Honestly, I’ve never experienced this. I’m fortunate to be blessed with generally good mental health.
179. What is your favourite pinball table?
Does the pinball game that came with Windows 98 count?
180. Have you ever crossed paths with a serial killer?
Possibly. There was a student at university at the same time as me that came to be known as the ‘Crossbow Cannibal’. But I don’t think I ever met him properly, thankfully.