I’m working my way through Richard Herring’s Emergency Questions book, 15 questions at a time. This week, it’s questions 181-195. You can read more about this project here. Please be aware that some of the questions are somewhat vulgar.
181. Did you ever go camping with your family? What are your abiding memories of that awful experience?
I went on camping holidays with my parents every year through my childhood. I wouldn’t describe it as an awful experience though; over time, I’ve been able to see large parts of France, and some bits of Spain too. Christine, Lizzie and I are going to France with my parents this summer.
182. Which is best, Cheddar Caves or Wookey Hole?
Having not been to either, I can’t comment.
183. If you had to do a Human Centipede with two other people – if you had to – and you were in the middle, which two people and at which end would they each go?
Nigella Lawson in front, as she eats lots of tasty food. I would probably have Jeremy Hunt behind.
184. Which is your favourite incarnation of Lucy Robinson from Neighbours?
I never watched Neighbours so I have no idea who this character is.
185. Do you remember the first time that a childhood enthusiasm was crushed and broken?
No, I don’t. Although when I did work experience at an architects aged 14 it put me off doing that line of work.
186. What is your favourite archaic word or phrase?
‘Trouble at’ Mill‘. A good old fashioned Yorkshire phrase.
187. Who do you consider the most appalling member of Margaret Thatcher’s Cabinet (excluding Margaret Thatcher obviously)?
Probably Nigel Lawson, as he still spews dangerous rubbish about global warming (and is still, sadly, given ample airtime to deliver these views)
188. Which is the best small peelable orangelike fruit? The satsuma, the clementine, the mandarin, the tangerine or another small peelable orange-like fruit?
I prefer satsumas – a nice balance of size, sweetness and ease of peeling.
189. What is your favourite bridge?
The Ribblehead Viaduct.
190. How many different human beings’ poo have you had to deal with?
Mostly just that of my daughter’s. No doubt, as and when we have another child, I’ll have that to deal with too.
191. Which is your favourite bun that is named after a place?
I like a nice Chelsea bun.
192. If you had to marry a piece of furniture – if you had to – which piece of furniture would you marry?
A nice, big comfy bed that I could lie on.
193. Can you describe the most unusual penis you have ever seen?
I can’t recall seeing any especially unusual penises.
194. Who is the most evil person you have ever met?
I don’t think I’ve met anyone especially evil, although I’ve walked past Philip Davies MP’s constituency office in Shipley a few times, if that counts.
195. When did you feel the most ambivalent?
I’m pretty ambivalent most of the time so it’s hard to pick out a time when I felt particularly ambivalent.